TILDA AND THE OTHERS 22: WHAT THE F.CK AM I DOING IN MARVEL UNIVERSE?

Pre-note: This is not a translation but a re-writing of  22. episode of the story called Tilda and The Others which is been e-published 21 episodes in Dedektif e-Magazine. This is written to meet Tilda with English-only-speakers of the magazine and the author already apologizes for her (maybe forgotten high-school) English.

In those coronavirus days, Tilda quarantined herself at her detective bureau and watched all the Avengers movies in one day. She was trying to find an answer to her question.

As the conspiracy theories telling that one world, one religion, one leader, one currency, or else, she thought what if the world was ruled by a pure evil villain like Thanos?

But who the f.ck was Thanos?

***

First of all, who am I? For the English-speaking readers, I would like to introduce myself. I am Tilda Ahırkapı, the first Armenian-Turkish female detective in Turkey.

Everything began with an ad. I was seeking an assistant to my detective bureau. A student, Mehmet Cinozoğlu applied for the job. With the help of my best/old friend who is a retired make-up specialist, Mrs. Tijen I played a game to Mehmet but he succeeded to recognize me even if I were disguised. So he became my assistant in the detective bureau on the corner of Hamiyet Yüceses street in Suadiye in İstanbul.

I, myself, Mrs. Tijen, Mehmet the assistant, and my police friend Commissioner Okan have solved many cases not only in Turkey but also all around the world. Here I have to mention my fatty black & white male cat Basti. He is the official cat of my detective bureau and he is as clever as any cat alive. But his chances are he lives in an office where thieves, killers, and other criminals are caught and brought to justice. So with one paw movement, with one miyaaww just miyawed at the right time he could have been able to help us.

Basti the cat was also so talented at keeping himself busy but we were not always able to keep him out of trouble. On an occasion in London, he jumped out of the cat-box and made his way to the official residence of the British Prime Minister. He, then met Larry, the official cat of Downing st. 10.

So as long as we’ve met shortly, I can ask my question that I’ve asked earlier:

Who the f.ck is Thanos?

***

When organized crime and villainy rises to the top in any place, people need a hero. This hero may be the one who they pray for forgiveness and maybe differently named after different believings.

If you’re in a comic book universe, you have to maintain a splendid villain so that your imaginary hero’s victory over the villain shall be so magnificent to tell.

The heroes that have been written and painted for children and for grown-ups who accept that to be a grown-up shouldn’t be a serious pain-in-the-ass, can be differentiated by their powers. A youngster bitten by a special kind of spider may have the powers of that little mighty creature and may have called the Spider-Man. When a very rich and brilliant scientist who was hijacked in a cave may make an iron suit with the junk material for himself and then maybe called the Iron Man. Although he takes his name Thor from Norse mythology, a half-god man may come from his planet Asgard to earth with his unique hammer and may show his good powers to everyone. A man may get his powers when he shrinks into an ant’s size and if we don’t crush him with our foot, he may be a little hero called the Ant-Man. A scientist may be over-exposed to Gamma rays then may become a green giant called Hulk and beat the f.ck out of everyone who is bad. In WWII a tiny soldier who was injected super-soldier serum into his veins may become a super soldier called Captain America with the help of a shield made of the strongest metal ever called vibranium.

Thanks to Stan Lee and his many co-writers and co-artists that with their amazing imaginations these tens of heroes were able to lead a role in comic-books and movies and TV series.

And what if there will exist great villainy so that all the heroes shall become one and fight with him/her? Will they be able to free themselves from their own egos and became Avengers to fight this amount of darkness?

Thor, as a half-god, comes from another planet, and as Tony Stark, the rich scientist who becomes Iron Man is like inert materials that can be impossible to store together. Because their egos are bigger than their shields.

***

And here is Thanos, the worse of the bad guys… Thanos, the man who wants to gather the six infinity stones scattered around the universe then balance the universe –for himself- with the powers those stones should maintain. As I am saying ‘man’, he is much bigger and much powerful than an ordinary man of course. When he gets the six infinity stones from the planets all over the universe, what he wants to do is to place them is his glove and with a snap of his fingers he wants to swipe out half of the universe, that means kill half of the all the living creatures. So that over-populated planets should take a breath according to him. In fact not according to him. He does this because of his love of death. Not death just as we know it. Death, the love of his life. Because that lady Death thinks that life on the universe is going ahead of death. And this has to be stopped. What a love of psycho-killer kind!

But where did this Thanos get the idea that he is the one to take half the lives in-universe? So far, a virus called corona which isn’t as big and as powerful as Thanos but is killing people all around the world. Not half of the population, fortunately, but the harm it has given is indisputably huge.

Should this harming mechanism be in the hands of one villain called Thanos or one and an only virus called corona?

***

We can question why Thanos wants to harm half of the living and get only one proper answer: because he can! Because he has the power and intelligence for chasing the six infinity stones planet after planet.

The Avengers who fought Thanos when he almost had invaded earth with his villain army, become very frightened when they hear him seeking the infinity stones one by one like spoiled children who want to play with marbles. Now they have to assemble their superpowers and save half of the creatures in-universe from decaying with a snap of a finger. But how?

***

Let’s have a look at the infinity stones and their power which Thanos looks for:

The Space Stone (blue), gives the user power over space. Anyone holding the Space Stone can create a portal from one part of the universe to another.

The Reality Stone (red), grants the user to manipulate matter. It can change the perception of reality.

The Power Stone (purple), bestows upon its holder a lot of energy—the sort of energy that you could use to destroy an entire planet.

The Mind Stone (yellow), allows the user to control the minds of others.

The Time Stone (green), allows the owner to travel back and forward in time.

The Soul Stone (orange), can control the souls of the dead and living.

What will happen if all that power is given into one man’s hands?

***[[Here we should interfere with the story by telling that a seventh infinity stone exists. Because a seventh of everything exists (sleepers, sins, sons of seventh sons, circles of hell, levels of paradise, etc.) it would have been a shame that if the stones were already six pieces.

The seventh Infinity Stone is called The Ego Stone. The Infinity Stones were created by the Big Bang that gave birth to the universe. In the comics, the seven Infinity Stones were actually held within a single omnipotent being called Nemesis who grew tired of her existence and willed herself to shatter into the six Infinity Stones, with the seventh stone holding her consciousness.

The comics do not explain the Ego Stone’s power in great detail, saying only that it’s very powerful and that there was a time it took possession of a former Avenger named Sersi. When the Ego Stone comes into contact with the other Infinity Stones, Nemesis will be reborn.]]

***

In a universe or thinking little on earth or thinking more little in a country, can you give all the powers to a man thinking like Thanos? Who the hell is he that he wants to end half of the life to balance the universe? And he does this balancing to declare his love for Death? Funny isn’t it?

***

Even if you rule a country there will is something called separation of powers. Separation of powers is a doctrine of constitutional law under which the three branches of government (executive, legislative, and judicial) are kept separate. Because each branch is given certain powers so as to check and balance the other branches.

If you give all the strings to one person how will you be sure his/her decides are just? A governor/manager cannot be an architect, cannot be a scientist, cannot be a lawyer, cannot be a mayor, cannot be a doctor, and cannot be a construction engineer at the same time.

***

If a governor/manager takes The Reality Stone and manipulates the (awful) truth with all the social, published, and visual media and creates an ‘Everything will be all right!’ perception? A false truth about we are all going so well that everyone in the world hates us and you shall hate everyone who does not think, pray, eat, dress, look like, live, love, or make love like you? A false truth not combining but separating, not making healed but making wounded and crying out loud that ‘We are great but no one else is!’

If this governor/manager uses The Time Stone and wants us to believe that we just jumped out of the times of there were no hospitals, no highways, no buses, no ambulances, no planes, no bread, no flour, no sugar, no gas, no oil  to today?

If this governor/manager uses the Soul Stone and makes the dead and the living also vote for him/her? If he doesn’t end the poverty just to tell the poor people that ‘I am taking care of you and you will always need me!’? What if he/she doesn’t teach people how to fish but he prefers giving fish to them just to make them thanks-givers?

***

The task of superheroes or whom he feels himself like a superhero begins here. We cannot fight like the green giant, we cannot wander around the skyscrapers with our spider-powers, we cannot fly with our turbo-boosted iron shields. But we can be as heroic as to say right to who makes it right and wrong to who makes it wrong.

It’s our duty to stop Thanos who combines crimes like hatred, injustice, arrogance, egoism, and discrimination in his own will and tries to commit these crimes more and more powerful with those Infinity Stones.

In these corona days, we must not connive the ones who are discriminating against people by the power of religion.

***

“After Thanos had all the six infinity stones he would have been inevitable!” said Tilda to herself. Or she said it out loud, she was not sure of anything anymore. Being alone and talking with her cats and with herself, her mind was tired after all.

How will all the people stand the corona pandemic, she thought. #Stayathome says all the authorities but there were bills to pay. #Lifefitshome but the bills do not fit the pocket.

***

Tilda looked outside from the window of the detective bureau on Hamiyet Yüceses street in Suadiye. The rain started to fall. If only, she said. I would have the Time Stone and went back to China where the first man/woman was infected with that virus and I would have prevented the first occasion.  But she wasn’t living in the Marvel Universe. She actually was living in İstanbul! And time travel was not possible yet.

So, she turned her face back to the future and dreamt of a world without Thanos. A world where the villain gets lost with a snap of a finger and everyone in the country, at least half of the people, may begin to live happily-ever-after.

Post-note: The Marvel Cinematic Universe-MCU is not a direct adaptation of the comics but it does take inspiration from it. So the characters spoken in this story are based on MCU, not the comics. This shall be known.

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